Hum [bad word] days
And a hum [bad word] ways

Hey kids, let me tell you how I met your mom
We were dancin' and romancin' at the Senior Prom
It was no infatuation just a gradual graduation
From a boy to a man let me tell you while I can
The soda pop came free

Hey sis one kiss and I was heaven bound
Now who would have guessed Milton's Paradise Lost could be found?
But in the eyes of the Dean his daughter she was doin' what she shouldn'a oughta
But a man's got to do what a man's got to do the consequence should be
Church bells, three swells, the Dean, his daughter, and me

They were dating in the park, they were smooching in the dark of a doorway for two
She whispered "I love you -
Ooh, you know I never felt this way before
Ooh, you know the elevator in my heart
Has gone awol awol awol"

And then I kissed her
And when I kissed her
It's a wonderful world
When you're rolling in kisses

Now, the paint is peeling
Now, and when the chips are down
Now, you kinda lose all feeling
Now, your head goes round and round
Round and round and round and round
And round and round and round
I'm throwing myself off this train

Hum [bad word] days 
And a hum [bad word] ways 
Hum [bad word] days 
And a hum [bad word] ways 

Hum [bad word] days, he's got 
Hum [bad word] ways, oh boy 

Hey, you know I'm really earning now
My ship came in with a cargo of dollars, my name's lit up on the prow
It's a wonderful world when you're rolling in dollars
Rolling in dollars
Rolling in dollars
Now