Boss calls us to the office in a rage
Says we’re suspended without pay
Asks for our mixing bowl
No not our mixing bowl
Go home so our girl can cheer us up
Says she only dates chefs, she’s had enough
We once were Paula Deen
and… well now we’re like the racist version of her

Our lives are [bad word] like Aztecs
We’re no longer receiving fat checks
Haven’t been laid in a week
Just kidding.
We’ve never been laid.

“Dude what’s with these hammers on the floor?”
“Could they be a gift for Thor?”
I see it all.
I see it now.

No more workin’ the fryer.
Retired.
Our lives are inspired.
‘Cause we are the chosen and we’re gonna smash like THOR!
Quicker, quicker than a lizard
We are scared of wizards and we’re gonna smash like THOR!

Wa-ah-ah-ah-ah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Wa-ah-ah-ah-ah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Wa-ah-ah-ah-ah-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Now we’re gonna smash like THOR!

Now we’re gods amoungst peasants.
Getting offerings and presents.
Now we’re superheroes to these mere mortals.

We lost our job.
We lost our girl.
Now we [bad word] the world.
Gods of [bad word] 
Gods of war.
Like thunder? Well have some more!

Now stand up, rise.
HEROES UNITE!
Don’t let people get you down.
FIGHT!
This is our life.
This is our time!

No more workin’ the fryer.
Retired.
Our lives are inspired.
‘Cause we are the chosen and we’re gonna smash like THOR!
Quicker, quicker than a lizard
We are scared of wizards and we’re gonna smash like THOR!

Our father is Odin, behold him,
Our bloodline is golden
‘Cause we are the chosen and we’re gonna smash like THOR!
Harder
Harder ’til it’s smoky!
Our brother is Loki
And we’re gonna smash like THOR!

Wa-ah-ah-ah-ah-Odin
Wa-ah-ah-ah-ah-Odin
Wa-ah-ah-ah-ah-Odin
And we’re gonna smash like THOR!