immy Durante was once a little boy of only three
Jimmy Durante
Knew nothin’ ‘bout the birds or ‘bout the bees
Daddy would warn him
When you’re a man you’re gonna wanna go ha-cha-cha-da
Better to put out the fire
Put on a ring and sing in the choir

And his mommy would lecture
Don’t listen to the ladies in the hall
They wanna get ya, but Mommy isn’t gonna let ya fall
Pity the kid, he sits there
And little does he know, but the oysters are his
Leavin’ the cloister by Christmas
Stickin’ his nose into everybody’s business

Jimmy, go
(Jimmy Durante / go for it all)
Hit the road and get on with the show
(There goes Durante / showin' 'em all)
So they don't root for you
(So they don't root for / you or salute you)
They don't wanna face what that snoot's gonna do
All the while
(All of the while, who's / winkin' at you?)
All the girls in the [bad word] will smile
(All of the girls are / thinkin' of you)
Spreadin' those curtains apart on the stage

Goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are [bad word]  to get you, I’m gonna be a star
You’ve been in my heart, girl, you’ve never been far
So, goodnight, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are

This is your daddy
When you’re a man, you’re gonna want to go, “Ha-cha-cha-da”

Jimmy's live
(Jimmy Durante’s / live on the stage
Catch the champ who is takin' a dive
(Catch him as Jimmy / dives off the stage)
Learned what the ladies lacked
(Learned of the ladies / Turned on the ladies)
Now ev'ryone wants to get into the act
Join the cause
(Join in the cause and / gimme a chant)
Follow Jim 'cause he follows his schnozz
(Follow because of / Jimmy Durante's schnozz)
Once there was grievin'

But now even Daddy’s relented
He’s sayin’ how it isn’t any crime
The choir director is layin’ down a madrigal in time
(Hey, nonny, no, nonny, nonny)
Even the Pope is hopin’ he’s happy
And he gives him a snappy thumbs-up
Dancin’ the pony with Mommy
Singin’ a hey, nonny, nonny and a ha-cha-cha

Jimmy Durante