Banana split for my baby
glass of plain water for me.
Banana split for my baby
glass of plain water for me.
Dispenser Man, if you please
Serve my chick a mess of calories
Banana split for my baby
glass of plain water for me.

Slip back the lid
Scoop everything in sight
Make it a rainbow of red, brown and white
Chocolate chip and everything that's nice [bad word] once and spumoni twice
Banana split for my baby
And a glass of plain water for me.

Spray the whipped cream for at least an hour
Pile it as high as the Eiffel Tower
Load it with nuts, about sixteen tons
Top it with a pizza just for fun
Banana split for my baby
And a glass of plain water for me.

Banana split for my baby
glass of plain water for me
Banana split for my baby
glass of plain water for me.

Stack her up with crazy goo
That's the stuff she likes to wade right through
Banana split for my baby
glass of plain water for me.

Now add the cherries
The kind she loves to munch
Skip the banana
Use the whole darn bunch
Drown it with fudge
Six or seven cans
Give her two spoons
She'll eat it with both hands

Banana split for my baby
And a glass of plain water for me
Separate checks, it must be
Charge the split to her
The water to me
Oh the banana split's for my baby
And the glass of plain water's for me
Ain't got no money
The glass of plain water's for me.